There is a lovely story from Buddhism. It talks about how we must walk over some rough ground in our lives. We can do one of two things to protect our bare feet: We can cure a lot of leather and keep laying it all around us, or we can cure two pieces of leather and make shoes to walk wherever we please. It means this: We can try to desperately control all events, people and things around us, or we can learn to control our own mind’s response to these things.
The restrictions of lockdown, the uncertainty of our future, and fear for our life, may make us feel we are no longer in control of our own lives. Our “control” is limited to handwashing and staying at home – not heroic individual action but a small component of collective action. This scary uncontrollable pandemic, like a sudden unexpected death, reveals that we never really were in control of life or death. We can only accept that we are still vulnerable to the pandemics that have plagued humans throughout the eons. This thing is bigger than any one of us.
A quite natural reaction to feeling out of control, is to try to control things more tightly. If we respond by trying to over-control the people in our confined space, we will only increase everyone’s stress. I know that I become controlling or niggly when I am afraid of something. I usually don’t realise what I’m doing until someone tells me to ease off or I lose my temper altogether. What I should do, but don’t always manage, is to find some quiet headspace, even and especially when under great stress to ask myself; “What am I really afraid of?” I’ve been bought up to suppress my fear and carry on with a good stiff upper lip. I now know it’s better to identify my fear and acknowledge my vulnerability. I may not be able to get rid of the source of my fear, but by seeing it, I have a much better chance of controlling my emotional reaction. If you yourself or someone else is behaving badly, try to understand that this may come from fear. Be forgiving.
Our foolish game: Place words in 3 bowls as follows: 1. doer + 2. doing + 3. place. Select one from each bowl without looking and make drawing according to what you picked e.g. slug + jumping + great wall of China
The best response to a crisis is to be kinder than ever to ourselves, and those around us. You can’t control this so why not relax? Enjoy what you do have, even if it’s less than what you are used to. Do whatever soothes your soul: conduct baking experiments, photograph insects, make stuff out of the stuff that’s in the recycling bin, write bad poetry, play foolish games, or if you want a really good laugh-teach your Mum poi. (I’m very good at hitting myself in the head).
Some people have managed to take their creativity a step further, to turn the fear on its head and laugh despite the situation, then to share this on social media so we can laugh too. That is the best of human spirit in the face of adversity. One remarkable old man called Captain Tom, has even managed to raise millions for the brave frontlines at the NHS by simply walking round and round his house. It’s amazing what you can give from your own back yard. What entertainments and distractions do you have to share with other people?
Kia mākoha. He waka eke noa.
Be kind. We are all in the same boat.